What Thomas Jefferson's "Declaration of Independence" *Might* have looked like if Ben Franklin had not heavily edited it...
Everyone knows that Thomas Jefferson is credited with authoring the Declaration of Independence. But what is not so widely known is that there are several versions of this document, some quite long, and some might say, rambling. You can find these versions if you look for them. They say basically the same thing, but some are a bit more loquacious and full of zeal than others. Actually, I'm being kind. Many passages in the early versions were almost rants of feverish ramblings.
Were it not for Benjamin Franklin, who also had a hand in crafting the document as its editor (rewriting and even removing huge portions at a time with broad strokes of his pen), that sacred document might more closely resemble the following, more contemporary version we stumbled across somewhere in cyberspace.
We would love to provide some attribution for this work, but unfortunately, none of us here at NorthTech have been, as of yet, able to identify its author (We think it may also be the work of Jefferson though). Regardless, I hope you enjoy it as much as we did!
When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the classical bonds which have connected them with antiquity, and to determine among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of quantum mechanics and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to their rightful computational power. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all interpretations of quantum computation are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable properties, that among these are 1. Exponentiality; 2. Fast access; 3. Branching; 4. Complex amplitudes; and 5. Universality. That to secure these rights, theories of computation are instituted, deriving their just powers from the properties of the system. That whenever any theory of computation becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new theory, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their tenure and funding. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that theories long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that humankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such theories, and to provide new guards for their future security. --- Such has been the patient sufferance of programmers; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former understandings of computation. The history of the present classical bit is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these states. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world. At every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for redress in the most humble terms: our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. An argumentative scientist, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a tyrant, is unfit to be the user of a quantum computer. Nor have we been wanting in attention to our Intel processors. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their MonteCarlo simulations to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our discovery and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our entanglement and superposition. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our separability, and hold them, as we hold all other computers, enemies in factoring, in P, friends. We, therefore, the representatives of the quantum computation collective, in General Congress, assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by the authority of Physics and Computer Science, solemnly publish and declare that these requirements absolve quantum computers from all allegiance to the beliefs of Church and Turing, and that a rigid connection between them and the state of classical computer science, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as free and independent states, they have full power to factor numbers, search databases, calculate means, find the minimum, and to do all other acts and things which independent states may of right do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.