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What Thomas Jefferson's "Declaration of Independence" *Might* have looked like if Ben Franklin had not heavily edited it...

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Everyone knows that Thomas Jefferson is credited with authoring the Declaration of Independence. But what is not so widely known is that there are several versions of this document, some quite long, and some might say, rambling. You can find these versions if you look for them. They say basically the same thing, but some are a bit more loquacious and full of zeal than others. Actually, I'm being kind. Many passages in the early versions were almost rants of feverish ramblings.

Were it not for Benjamin Franklin, who also had a hand in crafting the document as its editor (rewriting and even removing huge portions at a time with broad strokes of his pen), that sacred document might more closely resemble the following, more contemporary version we stumbled across somewhere in cyberspace.

We would love to provide some attribution for this work, but unfortunately, none of us here at NorthTech have been, as of yet, able to identify its author (We think it may also be the work of Jefferson though). Regardless, I hope you enjoy it as much as we did!


 

When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people
to dissolve the classical bonds which have connected them with
antiquity, and to determine among the powers of the earth, the separate
and equal station to which the laws of quantum mechanics and of nature's
God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires
that they should declare the causes which impel them to their rightful
computational power.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all interpretations of
quantum computation are created equal, that they are endowed by their
Creator with certain unalienable properties, that among these are


1.       Exponentiality;

2.       Fast access;

3.       Branching;

4.       Complex amplitudes; and

5.       Universality.

That to secure these rights, theories of computation are instituted,
deriving their just powers from the properties of the system. That
whenever any theory of computation becomes destructive to these ends, it
is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a
new theory, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its
powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their
tenure and funding. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that theories long
established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and
accordingly all experience hath shown that humankind are more disposed
to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by
abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train
of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a
design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is
their duty, to throw off such theories, and to provide new guards for
their future security. --- Such has been the patient sufferance of
programmers; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to
alter their former understandings of computation. The history of the
present classical bit is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations,
all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny
over these states. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.

At every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for redress in
the most humble terms: our repeated petitions have been answered only by
repeated injury. An argumentative scientist, whose character is thus
marked by every act which may define a tyrant, is unfit to be the user
of a quantum computer.

Nor have we been wanting in attention to our Intel processors. We have
warned them from time to time of attempts by their MonteCarlo
simulations to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have
reminded them of the circumstances of our discovery and settlement here.
We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have
conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these
usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our entanglement and
superposition. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which
denounces our separability, and hold them, as we hold all other
computers, enemies in factoring, in P, friends.

We, therefore, the representatives of the quantum computation
collective, in General Congress, assembled, appealing to the Supreme
Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name,
and by the authority of Physics and Computer Science, solemnly publish
and declare that these requirements absolve quantum computers from all
allegiance to the beliefs of Church and Turing, and that a rigid
connection between them and the state of classical computer science, is
and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as free and independent
states, they have full power to factor numbers, search databases,
calculate means, find the minimum, and to do all other acts and things
which independent states may of right do. And for the support of this
declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine
Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and
our sacred honor.